My experience with having "the talk" with my parent.

         After reading the article "Our Teens Secret Sex Lives" about the things teenagers are doing today in the October 2011 issue of Essence, I began to think about my experience of "the talk" and whether it affected the outcome i had. It also had me questioning if I would be so candid when discussing this topic with my children in the future.

        My experience was awkward and not very informative. I got "the talk" at the start of my freshman year in high school, since I was a late bloomer and did not officially become a woman until then. My mom was the person who gave it to me. She began by asking me was I active; after discovering that I was not, she went on to explain to me that this is not something that you do to make a boy like you or for attention. She also told me the consequences I could face if I chose to do it like pregnancy, disease and even ridicule from others but most of all she told me, more like demanded, that I not do it until I was ready and after I have first told her. After "the talk" we never discussed this issue again beside her constantly checking to see if I had became active. Since we didn't talk about much on the issue I never felt the need to ask any questions because of the fear of her thinking that I was active or considering it. However the following year I had my first experience because I thought I was ready and I knew enough not to get pregnant or contract a disease but what i didn't know is that the person you chose to give this to will forever be "that significant person" therefore he should be very special. After realizing that I made a mistake that I could not change I decided to go back and have a more in dept talk with my mom. This time she let me ask the question and she answered as a friend instead of a parent. I think that by her doing it this way she enlighten me and also helped me to realized that this is something that I should not be ashamed to talk about with her. It also helped me make the decision to not do it again until I felt that the person was worthy. 

       Now that I am approaching the age of 24 I think that "the in dept talk" had a great affect on how I look at sex today, as something special and not easily shared, it also helped me to enjoy my teen and college years by not have any unplanned pregnancies or diseases.Now that I am able to have "the talk" regularly with my mom without feeling awkward it encourages me to be more open when I have my own children, to not create the fear that I once had.